Have you ever been a situation where you were in love with someone and you didn't want to tell them by fear of rejection? Or because you wanted to respect the famous principle of "If he liked me, he would tell me"? Because I have been, and I have decided to gain a new perspective on it.
True story from friend
My friend has been in this kind of situation for a while now, but with a guy she met in college. She's been having feelings for him for a while, and he has been too. However, when they met, they both were in a relationship. In the summer, my friend's boyfriend went back to his hometown. The guy (let's call him... Jason) had been dumped by his girlfriend - and by the way she was a control freak. And they ended up getting very close to each other, to the point where they fell in love.
After summer, the spark wasn't in my friend's couple anymore and he broke up with her. She was most hopeful to start a relationship with Jason. However, it did not go the way she wanted to - the guy in question ran away after she was single again. Why do guys do that? Seriously? Scared of their own feelings.
Anyhow, he got back with his ex (what the hell?) and she knows she loves him. And he went to visit her a couple of times (he deliberately cheated on his girlfriend), and told her how he was thinking of her and wanted to talk to her, but was with his girlfriend and was incapable of leaving that situation. Guys will always surprise me.
So my friend took her courage and she gave him a message stating her emotions and how she liked him and will always wonder "what if". Jason replied with the cheapest answer: "I'm sorry, it's just not the right thing at the right time. I will also always wonder what if". He still texts her every now and then. But my friend felt better knowing that she told him the truth, and that she knows that it is HIM who is the problem, not her lack of trying.
That gets me to the point : confessing is better than ignoring - she felt way better after than before where she was uncertain of moving on. It was clear after.
Being sincere doesn't equal being weak
You're probably scared of coming clean to someone because of how you'll look. In the occidental society we live now, confidence and strength are welcomed straits. We despite the ones that are weak, that need help, that cry. When you hear people gossiping, you rarely hear "Well did you hear what happened to X? She got accepted in Grad school at MIT!", normal people don't like to chitchat about others' happiness. They are most often jealous of it and they rejoice when others are weakened, hence why you'll probably hear most often things such as "Did you hear what happened to X? Her boyfriend broke up with her!" "Is she sad?" "Yeah! She was so attached and all". Most people will be happy to know someone broke your heart. They'll know you're weak, and they are stronger than you.
How can you prove them wrong when something as such happens to you? Don't hide it, just admit it sincerely "Yeah... He didn't want me, really breaks my heart, I really liked him, but it's life." Don't go saying "Yeah, but it's fine I don't need it." Don't try to be modest, what's the point? You feel that way, then say you feel that way. That's all. People who doesn't do that are weak, because when they get home, they'll be the first one crying in their bed. When you admit it deliberately like that, well your heart and mind syncs and they know you accept it. So much easier to move on.
Conclusion
Finally, I finish by saying that truth is better than lies. Sincerity is better than modesty. Don't try to protect your ego, because those are false values. You build a fake wall of protection around you and it makes it harder for you to be your own self. It keeps you from building great relationships with others. Don't protect yourself from everything, instead just be yourself and say what you have to say. Say what's on your heart. The moment you don't, a conflict appears between your heart and mind, and will grow until you admit it. And these can come out at the wrong moment, hence why you see some people going mad going literally crazy. They hold a grudge in their heart and when a brick in the wall falls, everything slips.
By the way, I do love Pink Floyd and The Wall. But I wasn't trying to make allusion to that, but thinking about it, that's pretty much what it is about! A wall will ruin your life my friend! In a society like today where you can say what you want to say and you are free, you don't need to build a wall. Live free, live today, and live every day. We are all human, and those who doesn't understand that and that will argue with you when you say your mind, are those that live behind a wall, built by societal thoughts and by lies.
Anyway, thanks for reading me! I hope I helped to clear your mind a bit. I hope your days are filled with truthfulness and joy. You deserve it! If you understand, you are amazing, that's all. Enjoy your life! You only have one. Enjoy the moments, they only come once. Enjoy every day, not everyone gets the opportunity to have freedom like you have.
Karine
After summer, the spark wasn't in my friend's couple anymore and he broke up with her. She was most hopeful to start a relationship with Jason. However, it did not go the way she wanted to - the guy in question ran away after she was single again. Why do guys do that? Seriously? Scared of their own feelings.
Anyhow, he got back with his ex (what the hell?) and she knows she loves him. And he went to visit her a couple of times (he deliberately cheated on his girlfriend), and told her how he was thinking of her and wanted to talk to her, but was with his girlfriend and was incapable of leaving that situation. Guys will always surprise me.
So my friend took her courage and she gave him a message stating her emotions and how she liked him and will always wonder "what if". Jason replied with the cheapest answer: "I'm sorry, it's just not the right thing at the right time. I will also always wonder what if". He still texts her every now and then. But my friend felt better knowing that she told him the truth, and that she knows that it is HIM who is the problem, not her lack of trying.
That gets me to the point : confessing is better than ignoring - she felt way better after than before where she was uncertain of moving on. It was clear after.
Being sincere doesn't equal being weak
You're probably scared of coming clean to someone because of how you'll look. In the occidental society we live now, confidence and strength are welcomed straits. We despite the ones that are weak, that need help, that cry. When you hear people gossiping, you rarely hear "Well did you hear what happened to X? She got accepted in Grad school at MIT!", normal people don't like to chitchat about others' happiness. They are most often jealous of it and they rejoice when others are weakened, hence why you'll probably hear most often things such as "Did you hear what happened to X? Her boyfriend broke up with her!" "Is she sad?" "Yeah! She was so attached and all". Most people will be happy to know someone broke your heart. They'll know you're weak, and they are stronger than you.
How can you prove them wrong when something as such happens to you? Don't hide it, just admit it sincerely "Yeah... He didn't want me, really breaks my heart, I really liked him, but it's life." Don't go saying "Yeah, but it's fine I don't need it." Don't try to be modest, what's the point? You feel that way, then say you feel that way. That's all. People who doesn't do that are weak, because when they get home, they'll be the first one crying in their bed. When you admit it deliberately like that, well your heart and mind syncs and they know you accept it. So much easier to move on.
Conclusion
Finally, I finish by saying that truth is better than lies. Sincerity is better than modesty. Don't try to protect your ego, because those are false values. You build a fake wall of protection around you and it makes it harder for you to be your own self. It keeps you from building great relationships with others. Don't protect yourself from everything, instead just be yourself and say what you have to say. Say what's on your heart. The moment you don't, a conflict appears between your heart and mind, and will grow until you admit it. And these can come out at the wrong moment, hence why you see some people going mad going literally crazy. They hold a grudge in their heart and when a brick in the wall falls, everything slips.
By the way, I do love Pink Floyd and The Wall. But I wasn't trying to make allusion to that, but thinking about it, that's pretty much what it is about! A wall will ruin your life my friend! In a society like today where you can say what you want to say and you are free, you don't need to build a wall. Live free, live today, and live every day. We are all human, and those who doesn't understand that and that will argue with you when you say your mind, are those that live behind a wall, built by societal thoughts and by lies.
Anyway, thanks for reading me! I hope I helped to clear your mind a bit. I hope your days are filled with truthfulness and joy. You deserve it! If you understand, you are amazing, that's all. Enjoy your life! You only have one. Enjoy the moments, they only come once. Enjoy every day, not everyone gets the opportunity to have freedom like you have.
Karine
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